Zardari

Pakistan has become so rogerred by its politicians that Pakistanis don’t even care if their political leaders are exposed as lying cheating scumbags. Take for example the recent unveiling of Mr. Zardari as a fraudster and dumbass extraordinaire.

Senator Prophet Asif Zardari, leader of the ruling political party of the country and the great unifier of this nation is revealed to have lied about his academic credentials. Mr. Zardari claims, in official records, that he is a graduate of the London School of Economics and Business. Trouble is, such an institution does not exist. There is a London School of Economics and there is a London Business School but they have yet to have a one night stand (stupid conservatives!) that produces an off-spring called the London School of Economics and Business.

Mr. Zardari refusing to bow down to this Zionist conspiracy has reiterated that the Degree is legit. He must be right, why else would the PPP official spokesperson also support this claim?

Here’s an excerpt from Dawn that makes it impossible to refute Mr. Zardari's claims:

In a written response to questions by this correspondent, PPP spokesman Farhatullah Babar said: “All that I can share with you on the basis of my information is that Mr Zardari passed his examination and qualified from Cadet College Petaro, Dadu. It was not a degree as the Petaro college is not a degree college.”

When asked about the institution from where Mr Zardari received his degree, he said "Mr Zardari studied business and economics in a school in London now called (the) London School of Economics and Business."

The PPP claims that Mr. Zardari received his graduation or equivalent degree in 1976 from this school.

Mr Babar said that academic qualifications from London School of Economics and Business were said to be equivalent to a degree, but he did not know the ‘exact title’ of Mr Zardari’s degree and address of the institution.

Stupid journos, asking for addresses and degree titles; who needs that shit! It’s 2008 baby, its all online! Dumbass, backward Pakistanis - how quaint though, bless them.

Can you imagine if it was revealed that Hillary, Obama or McCain lied about their education and submitted fake degrees from bogus institutions? You can’t, because they’re not stupid to pull of such a retarded stunt (well maybe Hillary is).

Zardari is in a league of his own not because he lied about his education or that he may have submitted forged documents – he’s a politician after all. The thing that makes Zardari a Jahil is him screwing up the name of the institution and that he couldn’t comprehend that anyone with internet could find out that he was lying. Or perhaps, more likely, he just doesn't give a fuck.

This of course is not the first time that Zardari has lied ("I did not get Murtaza killed"), sadly it also not the first time that a Pakistani politician has been caught with his pants down about his supposed education. The televangelist Amir Liaquat Hussain, a former MQM MNA and the then Minister of State for Religious Affairs, was exposed as a fraudster by Jamaat’s mouthpiece Daily Ummat. According to the Pakistan Tribune Mr. Liaquat received a Bachelor of Arts in Islamic Studies, a Masters of Arts in Islamic Studies and a PhD of Philosophy in Islamic Studies from Trinity College and University – a ‘degree’ awarding online institution.

Mr. Liaquat is quite proud of his academic achievements and openly touts these Degrees as a symbol of his modern-ness and his doctor-ness – he has an online PhD after all! In fact he’s so proud of this whole online thing that he calls his show, shown daily on GEO, Aalim Online.

Now get ready for the best part of this – Aalim Online Dr. Amir Liaquat received his MA on March 15th 2002 and his PhD on April 5th 2002. That’s 21 days for a PhD. Ahsan, dude, you must be a real dumbass for taking so long; in fact, by my calculations, you are 70 times stupider than Dr. Liaquat (that is if the PhD only takes you 4 years after the MA,).

The thing is I don’t particularly care if a politician has a degree or not, an education can only teach you so much. But I do care when a politician has absolutely no respect for the public and considers them to be idiots.

Here’s hoping for a day when Pakistani politicians care enough for their people to invest some more time in their lies.